How to be Mr. Right

November 8, 2013

It may be cliché but there are women out there who say they are looking for “Mr. Right” and if they aren’t saying it out loud, they’re probably secretly wishing to meet him. WPerfect partnerho is “Mr. Right” anyway? I once told someone I was looking for Mr. Right and they answered me with, you’ll find him and then learn that his first name is “Always”. But I didn’t believe that and I met my “Mr. Right”.

So what, according to women makes a man the perfect partner?

When in a relationship most women want to feel loved, valued, respected, honored and safe. They also want to have a voice, feel balance and equality with their significant other, to be attractive and sexy to them and yes they want a little romance to complete the package.

While all these feelings don’t necessarily come from someone else and are meant to be found within, it doesn’t hurt to have a supportive, safe and loving environment. Even better to have a man who sees the true essence of his woman all the time and can be the whisper that reminds her of her beauty when she loses sight of it.

Now that you know what women are looking for in their perfect mate, here’s how you go about being that for them:

  1. Go into the relationship with a strong sense of self. Know exactly who you are from the inside out. Understand what you like and don’t like, recognize your needs and desires and learn how to fill them yourself. Get acquainted with yourself and build a strong relationship with that person you discover yourself to be. This foundation will serve you well in any relationship. (and in your career too actually)
  2. Make sure you’ve checked your old baggage at the door and that you don’t bring the past into your present partnership. Before you jump into a new relationship make sure that you deal with any issues from previous relationships (including the one with your mother!). Doing this will ensure that you don’t keep attracting the same unhealthy partners or blame the new woman for the sins of her predecessor.
  3. Create a safe environment for your partner so that they feel a bond of trust with you and can feel comfortable enough to be themselves. This means leaving judgment and criticism out of the equation. And if you do find yourself judging or critical, recognize it as a sign that you have some personal work to do.
  4. Allow yourself to step out of your comfort zone and share your vulnerability without fear. It tells her that you trust her and like or love her enough to share a part of you that few get to see. It strengthensGood husband and father the thread that creates true intimacy.
  5. Make sex a sacred act by being present, tender, loving and attentive. Think of it less as a means to an end and more as a way to build the trust and feeling of safety between you. Sex has it’s purely physical side but in a committed relationship it is another way of communicating so express your love by your actions even during time when it’s hot and heavy.
  6. Listen with love and compassion. When your woman talks to you about a problem she is having she doesn’t necessarily want you to fix it. She wants a compassionate supporter who can hold a loving space as she works through it. If you find yourself wanting to fix the problem for her, take a look at what outcome you are looking for in doing so. For example, you may like the feeling of being her hero, or Mr. Fixit. You may want to solidify her love for you or you may just want to feel comfortable if listening to her share her pain makes you uncomfortable.
  7. Respect her individuality. Understanding that her opinions, ideas and values are not wrong if they don’t match with your own can allow you to be less controlling and more accepting of who she is. If you feel inclined to prove your own ideas right and hers wrong, it’s time to question your own beliefs and learn to accept others just as they are. This is a big part of creating a safe space in the relationship and promotes authenticity in both partners.
  8. Be with her because you want her, not because you need her. Neediness is not very attractive nor very masculine. Enough said.

If you want to be someone’s “Mr. Right” be the kind of partner that you want to attract, work on being a man of integrity, kindness and acceptance and the rest will fall into place.

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